February Daily Affirmation Challenge

Hi Readers! 

I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that beginning tomorrow we will be doing a daily affirmations challenge on our instagram page. You can still access this page even if you do not have an instagram account. Click here to follow the challenge.

Every day, for the entire month of February, there will be a new daily affirmation for you to say out loud. This coincides with the launch of our new e-book A guide to Self-Love that you can purchase here. We have created 2 versions. The content is the same, it is the appearance that is different. 

And to help you begin or continue your self-love journey, I am gifting you 25% off these e-books. Just use the code LOVEYOURSELF21 at checkout!!

Are you ready?!?

Be kind to one another!

Julia, Sexologist

Julia, Sexologist Blog

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Intimacy

Hi Readers! 

This week’s article is about intimacy and alternatives to sexual intercourse. In a world so focused on penetration, its important to explore what is beyond that. I’m sure you can find something amazing. 

Everyone lives their sexuality and intimacy in their own way, whichever way suits them best, however they feel comfortable. 

What does intimacy mean to you? (Yes, you need to answer this question now.)

How do you define intimacy? (Yessss, you need to answer this question, too.)

The concept of intimacy is defined in different ways. Sometimes, we think of intimacy as two people having sexual intercourse. Intimacy can be defined by nudity or solo sexual practices, like masturbation. For some, intimacy only refers to the sexual organs. 

For others, intimacy encompasses emotional proximity, sharing, self-revelation and specific experiences related to intimacy. Intimacy is about well-being, confidence in connection with affection, perception and cognitive state before, during and after the exchange of intimacy. This is what I want you to think about and figure out (if you haven’t explored it yet). 

Intimacy is a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

Sexuality is one of the core elements of what it is to be human. When we speak of sexuality, we speak of biological sex, sexual identity, sexual roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is also expressed with thoughts, fantasies, beliefs, relationships, roles, practices, behaviour, and desires. 

What are alternatives to intercourse? 

– Being physically close and intimate  

– Touching, stroking, oral sex

– Kissing

– Massaging

– Talking

– Holdings hands, holding each other 

– Taking a bath together 

– Using sex toys and other accessories 

Communicate with yourself and/or your partner about your needs, fears, worries, feelings, what you like and what you don’t like. You may feel a little nervous at the start the conversation, but that’s okay. Your partner may feel the same way. Figure it out together, learn together. 

In early 2021, we will be publishing an intimacy course that you will be able to purchase if you are interested in diving deeper into the subject intimacy. We will explore the components of intimacy and skills to better integrate intimacy into your relationships. 

Be kind to one another!

Julia, Sexologist 

Julia, Sexologist Blog

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Being proud of yourself

Hi Readers!

Today I would like to write about being proud of yourself. This is also the first video in our new mini-series: Taking it to the Chalk Wall, a sexual health and wellbeing series.

Dear Self: YOU ARE DOING GREAT” – Anonymous

This is something that a lot of people struggle with. They are always reaching higher and higher because they think they are not enough. Don’t get me wrong, ambition and hard work is great but don’t forget to thank yourself, be proud of yourself for EVERY SINGLE STEP that you take. It is important to recognise your strengths, your hard work, the ups and the downs. Recognise them, feel them. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Know your limits and be proud of all that you do. This includes the little things, too. For example: making your bed, be proud that you took those 5 minutes to make it. Working out, getting your children ready for school, preparing food for the week, getting those last few things done on your to-do list. You get the point. Whatever you do, be proud. And when you start doing that you’ll see that positive self-love and self-confidence are contagious! That’s what we want! Spread your positivity like sparkles (yes, even those of you out there who don’t like sparkles).

Dear Self: I believe in you. I trust in you. I care for you. I love you. I accept you. You are enough.” – Anonymous

There is a tool that I really like to use when working with clients on their self-confidence and self-esteem. It’s called the proud star. I learnt this while I was an intern during the last year of my undergrad. I think it’s brilliant. A star is shiny, gives light and is beautiful. Once you add accomplishments to it, it shines even brighter.

So here it is; I want you to do this once a week, once a month or whenever you are feeling down:

It is so important for you to recognise when and why you are proud of yourself.

I would also like to add that this is a great tool for all the parents out there to do with their children. Encourage your child to answer the questions on their own, beginning with one answer per category and then working their way up to two or three. Building their self-confidence will pay off immensely as they grow up.

Let me know how this works for you via email or comment on the IG post. If you would like to continue your self-confidence and self-esteem journey, please contact me for an appointment.

Be kind to one another!

Julia, Sexologist