A Few Tricks to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Hi Readers! 

This week’s topic is self-esteem. Self-esteem is the judgment that we have of ourselves and that we carry with us every day.

Self-esteem can be translated into the relationship between what we are as an individual (physical appearance, social success, etc.) and what we would like to be. The more our image shifts from our goal or our ideal, the lower our self-esteem will be. The building of self-esteem takes its roots during early childhood. 

As with self-confidence, parents play a key role in the development of self-esteem. While self-esteem is consolidated over the course of our lives, it is important to nurture a young person’s strengths and encourage their development during their initial, foundational years to set them off on the right foot towards building self-esteem.  

Self-esteem helps us immensely in building our personality. The more we hold ourselves in high esteem, the more we will be able to flourish and demonstrate our true nature. In order to assess your self-esteem, you need to evaluate yourself in all aspects of your life. Don’t worry, it is normal for you to feel more confident about yourself in certain aspects of your life and less so in others. 

Here are a couple of great activities to help you build and sustain your self-esteem:

  1. Write down one compliment (physical, psychological, social, etc.) each day and repeat it to yourself throughout the day. Write it on a sticky note, in your calendar, in your reminders but write it down! 
  1. For each category below, make a list of 5 or more positive:
    1. Your qualities and personality traits
    2. Your strengths and talents
    3. Your values 

To continue your self-esteem and self-love journey, you can purchase our ebook here.

Be kind to one another

Julia, Sexologist


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Puberty – Girls

Hi Readers!

This week’s subject is about puberty in girls. I will cover puberty in boys next week!

Puberty is when a child’s body begins to develop and change as they become an adult.

Girls develop breasts and start their periods. The average age for girls to begin puberty is 11. Do not worry if a child reaches puberty before or after their friends, is it different for everyone. It is normal for puberty to begin at any point from the ages 8 to 14 and the process takes up to 4 years.

What are the first signs of puberty?

During the first couple of years of puberty, girls undergo many changes:

  • Breasts grow and become fuller
  • First menstruation
  • Pubic hair becomes coarser and curlier
  • Underarm hair begins to grow along with hair on other parts of the body
  • Girls start to sweat more
  • Appearance of acne 
  • Vaginal discharge
  • Growth spurts until adult height is reached at the end of puberty
  • Most girls gain weight as their body shape changes

After approximately 4 years of puberty, breasts are fully developed, pubic hair has spread to the inner thigh, genitals are fully developed and the teenager stops growing. 

How does puberty affect children?

This period can be very difficult. There are a lot of changes happening in the body and the appearance of acne and body odours can lead children / teens to feel self-conscious. Puberty can also be an exciting time as they develop new emotions and feelings. That being said, many go through an emotional “rollercoaster” which can have psychological and emotional effects. For example, unexplained mood swings, low self-esteem, low self-image as they become more and more self-conscious, aggression or depression. 

Although it may seem like no one understands, everyone has and will go through these changes. If you are going through puberty, it is important to let these feelings out; talk to a friend, a teacher, a counsellor, your parents, a family member.

And for all you parents out there, it might feel difficult to talk to your child when they do not seem like themselves psychologically but it is important to let them know you are there for them. In fact, the NHS has some resources that can help you start the conversation with your teenager. Parents for coping with their children and talking to your teen.  

Be kind to one another,

Julia, Sexologist

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Being proud of yourself

Hi Readers!

Today I would like to write about being proud of yourself. This is also the first video in our new mini-series: Taking it to the Chalk Wall, a sexual health and wellbeing series.

Dear Self: YOU ARE DOING GREAT” – Anonymous

This is something that a lot of people struggle with. They are always reaching higher and higher because they think they are not enough. Don’t get me wrong, ambition and hard work is great but don’t forget to thank yourself, be proud of yourself for EVERY SINGLE STEP that you take. It is important to recognise your strengths, your hard work, the ups and the downs. Recognise them, feel them. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Know your limits and be proud of all that you do. This includes the little things, too. For example: making your bed, be proud that you took those 5 minutes to make it. Working out, getting your children ready for school, preparing food for the week, getting those last few things done on your to-do list. You get the point. Whatever you do, be proud. And when you start doing that you’ll see that positive self-love and self-confidence are contagious! That’s what we want! Spread your positivity like sparkles (yes, even those of you out there who don’t like sparkles).

Dear Self: I believe in you. I trust in you. I care for you. I love you. I accept you. You are enough.” – Anonymous

There is a tool that I really like to use when working with clients on their self-confidence and self-esteem. It’s called the proud star. I learnt this while I was an intern during the last year of my undergrad. I think it’s brilliant. A star is shiny, gives light and is beautiful. Once you add accomplishments to it, it shines even brighter.

So here it is; I want you to do this once a week, once a month or whenever you are feeling down:

It is so important for you to recognise when and why you are proud of yourself.

I would also like to add that this is a great tool for all the parents out there to do with their children. Encourage your child to answer the questions on their own, beginning with one answer per category and then working their way up to two or three. Building their self-confidence will pay off immensely as they grow up.

Let me know how this works for you via email or comment on the IG post. If you would like to continue your self-confidence and self-esteem journey, please contact me for an appointment.

Be kind to one another!

Julia, Sexologist